Poignant

I love poker.

I really do. I love everything about this silly game. I love to be able to sit at a table against people from all walks of life and be able to match wits with them. Just this weekend for example, I've played poker against a doctor and an engineer, amongst others. I love the social aspect of the game - it's always a great time at a poker game, because you're always among friends. And since I acquired the gambling gene from my parents, I love to be able to have 'a lil sumpin-sumpin' riding on the decisions that I make at the table. That's just in my blood!

But the thing that I love the most about this game is also the most frustrating thing about the game, and essentially, where this game's true beauty lies... anybody can win! In golf, if you were to play a round against Tiger Woods, you couldn't win one match out of 10,000. But in poker, you could sit across from any seasoned pro and, although you'd probably be at a disadvantage, you'd stand a pretty good chance to be able to beat him. The most skilled players in the world must still rely on a certain amount of luck to be able to win a big tournament. If the poker gods aren't smiling on a player on a certain day, perfect decisions can still send him to his demise. It's a beautiful thing. Anybody can win.

That includes a stubborn, cocky twenty-something year old kid who started playing the play money tables at Poker Stars about 10 years ago. He wasn't cocky enough to play for real money at that time, but he played a lot and eventually increased his play money bankroll from PM1,000 to over PM2,000,000. If you would have had the chance to talk to him and ask him how strong a poker player he was, he'd have laughed and said 'oh, I'm pretty good'. And he'd have believed it too.

Truth be told, that kid didn't know the first thing about poker. Sure, he had good results. Sure his stack increased exponentally. But how much of that success was based on luck? How much was based on the fact that a majority of the play money players don't take their play money seriously and just donk off their chips. How much was just calling the wrong bet at the right time and reaping the benefits of a bad play?

Sit down with this kid, and he'd have many stories about sucking out on online opponents. Players would berate him, tell him how poor he played and how lucky he got and that he didn't deserve to win. They'd call him every name in the book - they'd make sure that he was on their buddy list (so whenever he logged in, it would tell those players so they could seek him out and play at his table - because they'd have a better chance to win money against him!). But according to him, they were sore losers and just complainers - he was just that good a player and had the results to back it up! This kid truthfully had no idea how fortunate he was. He was gaining experience, collecting chips and having a good time - he just didn't know how truly bad a player he was!

Fast forward to this weekend.

Saturday night, I played at Zooks' home game and finished something like 11th out of 19. I didn't play particularly well - once I bluffed with a 2-5 and went all in and everybody folded. I showed everybody the bluff - turned out to be really stupid on my part. Later, when I pushed all in preflop with a pair of 7's, I got called by a guy with Q8 ("I thought you were bluffing again!" he tells me) and lost when the board counterfeited me by showing K-9-10-K-10. True, the call with Q8 was terrible, but had I not showed the bluff, he would never have called. I was truly frustrated, but put the blame on myself. Luckily I was able to win $25 at the cash game, so I netted a positive $5 for the night! Woohoo!

Sunday afternoon, I played in 2 tourneys at Gordo's. In the first one, I finished 3rd out of 9 (won $15, net $5). Again, I played OK, but made a bad decision that cost me big time. I was getting an incredible run of cards and kept raising and raising pots preflop. I'd win most of them, losing just once in a while. Then I got dealt 3-5 on the button (3 handed). It's one of those hands that if you're going to play, you need to raise, because you'd rather take it down without having to see a flop - if it goes to a flop, you're almost assuredly behind. But since I had raised so many previous pots, I decided to limp, caught a pair of 5's on the flop 5-4-Q, but Teresa paired both her 5 and her 4 and all but knocked me out. Had I raised preflop like I should have, no way she calls with 4-5. Again, I lost to a crap hand, but because I played it poorly. When it's my own dumb fault, it's so much easier to take.

But the second tourney on Sunday was a different story. Blinds started at 10/20 and there were fireworks from the word 'Go'. One pot I raised preflop to 120, Toby re-raised to 250. I called and when the flop hit me, I pushed all in and Toby folded correctly. Just 2 hands later, I had A-K and with multiple limpers in front of me, I raised to 200. Toby came over the top for 500. I went all in and he insta-called (he was tilting a little) and flipped over A-J. He muttered something about not caring and how he shouldn't have played anyway, but when the J came on the flop, he had doubled up and I had a lot of catching up to do. Then a few hands later (still 10/20) , I managed to get all my chips (1200 or so) into the pot with T-J on a 8-9-J-3 (2 spades) board against Jeff's A-6 sooooooted in spades. The river spade knocked me out 10 minutes after I started.

My ride home is usually reserved for analyzing my play - What did I do wrong? What could I have done better. What should I do next time this situation arises? The only thing I could come up with is that I shouldn't have risked so many chips so early into a tournament. But then the more I thought about it, if you give me the option to get all my chips in with a 70/30 advantage, I'd take it every time - even 6 minutes in or 6 hours in. I decided that I wasn't taking any resonsibility for this one - I just got hosed!! I steamed and steamed most the ride home. Maybe I just need a break from this game - the frustration just doesn't seem worth it sometimes.

But then I thought about all of the reasons why I love this game so much, and why it's so much a part of me. I thought about that know-it-all kid who played on those play-money tables and won when he had no business doing so. I thought about how he felt when he was winning - even if his decisions weren't as sound, he was still having fun playing the game. I thought of all of his opponents who berated him and his play, and what was thought of them at the time (and how much merit he gave their complaints anyway). But mostly, I thought about how vastly different my life would be had I not ever played a hand of poker. A very large percentage of my very best friends in this world, I met at a poker table. I met one of my very closest friends, Tim, at a poker game, and 20 years later, I'm the godfather of his youngest daughter. I was introduced to the Peoria Jaycees through poker, and now a huge percentage of my social calendar is spent with these new friends. If it wasn't for poker, I'd have never got the opportunity to know all these truly wonderful people - that's a very scary, but very true statement. And you know what? That's not something I want to give up very easily. I owe so much to this game, so I'm just going to keep on playing and see where it'll take me next...

I do truly love poker!!